| This will be my last entry ever.
I have recently been going through some hard times. My best friend hates me. This school year has been excruciatingly hard. I haven't been being the good girl I use to be. I've been smoking, drinking occasionally and being an all around screw up. I have disapointed my parents. My grades are still 3.8ish but I am not who I use to be. My eating disorder is still here and everything is the same with that. I have been binging lately because I am unhappy but I am not doing that anymore. I can't, I am really unhappy with myself right now, especially body wise. You girls have been so much help to me but now I have to handel my life alone. I need to learn to rely on myself because really I don't really have anyone to rely on. I love my friends but next year I'll have to start all over and I want to do this on my own.
Please leave email addresses, myspaces, and/or instant message screen names below, I want to keep in touch. I'll still be checking up on you guys. I just cant rely on this sight anymore to be my life. Thanks for everything, I love you all. I hope everyone has a great new year.
My new start starts today.
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| veggie fasting: mini tomato x10(50) 1 oz string beans(30) broculli x5(25) 105 |
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| -1800 calories on elliptical +0 calories doing work&having therapy today. |
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| 9miles today. 400 calories forcefed. thats it. no eating until next saturday. one week fast. no breaking it. at least 30 minutes exercise a day all fast. |
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| was forced to eat...twice. 400 gross calories. 400 calories burnt on elliptical/bike. liquid fast starts tommorrow. tommorrow: school. homework. lines. 2 hours of exercise(probably minus 800 calories). liquid fast. teadietsoda&tab. |
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